The Dissolution into Drama

I see that he has called 3 times and I do nothing.  I know what he will tell me will just disappoint me again and I don’t want to hear it.  Not to mention that I’m so angry with him I want to scream at him.  Finally I answer when he calls.  The same questions come at me, “Where are you?  What are you doing?  Go home.  Have  you been drinking? Someone told me you were with someone last night.” I laugh at the thought of "someone" telling him I was with someone last night.  Who the hell would know me, that knows him here in Havana where I am a stranger and no one even knows we know each other.  It's so ludicrous, but it pisses me off nonetheless for it's stupidity and unnecessary drama.

I’m intolerant and bitchy tonight with him. “If you’re not coming tonight, don’t bother, I’ll see you back in Colorado.” And I hang up on him.

I go into the bar and in minutes I am dancing across the floor with nothing on my mind at all.  When the music stops I start to feel bad and I call him back.  I’m not much nicer, but I give him a little bit of a chance to give me the sob story before we get pulled away from each other again by the reality of how much it costs to talk for one minute even on the phone in Cuba.

Maybe I get mad because this is a man I absolutely can not control in any way whatsoever.  I have no ability to sway him, influence him or get him to do what I want and maybe, just maybe that’s part of what’s both driving me crazy with him and making me fall in love with him.  He’s so fucking strong and pigheaded.   There’s just no moving him once he’s made up his mind.  Maybe, just maybe I’m used to being the one in control and with this man, it’s just not possible.  Maybe some part of me even likes the drama.